Aging In Place Directory

#75 - Interview with Christy Hire - Comfortable Aging Solutions

• Esther C Kane CAPS, C.D.S. • Episode 75

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What if the difference between a peaceful transition and a family meltdown is six months of honest planning? We sit down with occupational therapist and certified hand therapist Christy Heyer, founder of Comfortable Aging Solutions, to map a clear path to aging at home with safety, dignity, and less drama. Christy’s story is gripping: at 42 she survived a spontaneous coronary artery dissection, flatlined for two and a half minutes, and saw firsthand the cracks in a complex healthcare system. That experience fuels her mission to help families plan before the fall, the stroke, or the discharge date forces rushed, costly decisions.

We get practical fast. Christy breaks down home safety with a clinician’s eye: textured grab bars placed for the actual user, sliding transfer benches that beat fancy remodels, and decluttering as the first intervention. She explains why elder law attorneys—not generalists—are essential, how to think about trusts and powers of attorney, and what Medicare and long-term care insurance really don’t cover. We talk numbers, trade-offs, and how to name roles so meds, money, meals, and transportation don’t fall through the cracks.

Technology takes center stage with smart, approachable upgrades: voice assistants for lights and reminders, non-camera sensors for fall awareness, and future-ready homes designed for access, not just aesthetics. We also face the human truths—ageism, guilt, caregiver burnout, and the reality that old family patterns often get “more so” with time. Christy offers boundary-setting tactics, micro-break ideas that actually happen, and a reminder to bake joy into every day, whether that’s a 2 pm cookie ritual or a hobby that makes you light up.

If you want a plan that respects your values and protects your relationships, this conversation is your starting point. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more families find a calmer, safer way to age at home.

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SPEAKER_00:

All right, all right, so I'm gonna start. All right, so hello everyone, welcome to the podcast. This is for on Aging in Place Directory and on Senior Safety Advice, and also on those YouTube channels as well. So today I am so happy to talk with Christy Heyer. She's a master's level OT, a certified hand therapist, which is really, really hard, I have to tell you that. And um, she also began a company called Comfortable Aging Solutions. So we're gonna talk to Christy and find out how she transitioned from one thing to the other and what she plans to do with that amazing company. Hi, Christy.

SPEAKER_01:

Hi, thank you for having me on here. I'm just really excited to yeah, talk to you and and just talk about you know the new business I've started. Um so thank you. I've been an occupational therapist for 25 years. Um, and like you said, a hand therapist as well. I've literally worked in every field of OT that exists, um, and you know, loved all that experience. Um, but through a lot of uh like personal issues, I had a medical crisis about 13 years ago, which we can probably talk about in a little bit. Um and doing years and years of home health, I got so sick and tired of seeing my patients um and their families just absolutely implode uh when somebody, you know, had a fall or what I not so lovingly call the shit show. Um don't know if you allow cuss words on your show, but you might have to bleep me.

SPEAKER_00:

No, that's fine. I get it. I get it.

SPEAKER_01:

So, you know, I would get there either before the shit show happened or right during it or afterwards. Um, a lot of times it was afterwards. And, you know, that people had not planned for something happening to the mom and dad, or they thought mom and dad already have a plan, right? They've got this all figured out, you know, they know what's going on, and nobody had, and of course, something happens. And as you well know, family dynamics can play a huge role. Um, and this makes, you know, it can destroy relationships between siblings and parents and their kids. And it doesn't have to be that way. And I just kept thinking, oh my God, if I could have been here six months to a year ago, I'm not saying it wouldn't have happened, but you this probably wouldn't be happening to this degree, you know. Um, they wouldn't be losing everything, you know, they owned and and have to go on, you know, maybe government subsidized insurance or something to that effect.

SPEAKER_00:

It's so traumatic for families.

SPEAKER_01:

It really is incredibly traumatic. And people that haven't been through it really can't, I don't think, fully understand how much it can really just destroy everything. So that's pretty much what kind of made me do it. Um, my dad, I was also really, really close to him, and unfortunately, he passed away uh almost three years ago. Um, and my mom and I had talked to my parents about all this stuff already, thank, thankfully. Um, and my mom has Alzheimer's, so I care for her. So I know this can be done. Um, and I you know, I always treasure my relationship with my parents and my family, and I want to help other people do the same thing.

SPEAKER_00:

I love it. So tell us about what comfortable tell us about what the company does, what you want it to do.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, it's me, myself, and I in the company. And as of now, and what I'm really wanting to do is just help teach families, um, the aging parents, the adult children, what are some of the things that they can do now? Even if you know the the aging at home is maybe in the next five years or maybe next year. What can be done financially, legally, and just day-to-day activities and tasks and who's gonna do what for medications, where the aging parents gonna live. Um, help them just kind of create a holistic sort of plan and a way forward um to how to handle those things and put certain things in place so they don't have, you know, the shit show happen.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. So it's really it's everything, um, basically. Yes. So when you walk in to meet the family, um, I mean, you must have so many resources for them, you know, right then and there, of course, depending on what they need.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, yes, and it depends on, you know, what where they're at in this whole thing. Um, again, you know, some people have already been through it and they're just trying to recover and don't want it to happen again, and they're like, then I'm sure what to do next, even if they have, you know, been through therapy, had therapy at home, or you went to outpatient therapy or had interacted with a social worker. You know, a lot of times, um, you know, you and I both know as occupational therapists, we only have so much time with the patient.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's one thing that really frustrated me working for other people is I wanted to do so much more, and my hands were like literally tied because you know, I had different pain a certain number of patients I had to see every day, and I really just didn't have the time to do it.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, and so with my own business, I can take that time that makes me feel good about really covering all the aspects um of what this really acquires because it requires home safety first. Um, you know, I I created my own home safety evaluation that's uh really well pretty comprehensive from anything I've done in the past 25 years that also includes kind of outside the home as well. Um, because a lot of people, you know, who are by themselves and aging, you know, they're still mobile and get around and do stuff. And obviously falls happen outside too. So I cover that as well as everything that goes on from that point on.

SPEAKER_00:

It's true. I mean, aging in place includes the environment, everything, and that means inside the house, outside the house, at the grocery store, in the car, at the theater, you know, whatever it is that that person does. And that's the beauty of OT. It's all about molding the environment to fit the person. You know, I always loved that philosophy of uh OT. And you know, that's where adaptive products come in, that's where design comes in, universal design. I mean, so many things. It's like you can never get bored being an OT. It's exactly right.

SPEAKER_01:

That's one of the reasons, you know, it sounds like we both chose this profession, is I knew there were so many different areas to specialize in. And that's why I wanted to do them all because I wanted to find something I love. Um, and I love doing hands, you know, being a certified hand therapist. I absolutely love that for years. But then again, like as I came back to do more home health and what happened with my dad and everything, I just realized at this point in my life, that really is my passion for myself and everybody else.

SPEAKER_00:

Awesome, awesome. I love that. Now you spoke about a personal incident that happened um a few years ago, and obviously that impacted the decision and and the course in your life, which most things that are traumatic do impact the course of your life. So they tend to be life-altering. Yeah, well, you know, yeah, and and it gives you a lesson too. Somehow, some way, you know, if you can find that in in an event. So tell us about what happened because it's a fascinating story.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, everybody kind of freaks out when they hear about it because it is really unusual. Um, but 13 years ago, so I was like 42 at the time, I died of a heart attack and I was dead for about two and a half minutes, which I know may not sound like a long time. I know people are, you know, dead longer than that, but obviously it's it's enough.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's enough.

SPEAKER_01:

And yeah, long story sort of short, um I learned later that I have a kind of rare heart condition. Um, it's called SCAD, spontaneous coronary artery dissection. Um, and you can go to Mayo Clinic, Mayo Clinic's website to find out more information about it, but um, that's really what caused my heart attack. And it's a disease where the interior lining of your cardiac vessels tear and it creates a clot. And I didn't know, I knew I was having some sort of cardiac event, but I didn't know really what was happening. Um, and so later on, so I had the I died, I had three stents put in my heart as an emergency surgery that night. And then I was later referred to Mayo Clinic, which is where I learned I had this scab, the spontaneous coronary artery dissection. And that, of course, set forth a whole, you know, series of changes in my life, even though I've always been the person that's like, oh, I love you, I gotta hug you, who knows if I'll see you tomorrow. You know, I've always been that kind of person anyway, but it really uh, I guess I'll say crystallized for me uh the real finality of mortality. And that sounds so cliche, and I hate cliches, but it is so true. It is just so true. And just different things I knew I need to really get done in my life to bring back the quality and joy in my life. And I knew that's something I was really missing. So it made me really focus on um, you know, in for my belief anyway, we're not here forever. I mean, obviously we all die, but um, there's another place. I'm a Christian and I believe in heaven, but whatever you believe, you know, we're gonna die. And the quality of life that we have here is so critical. And I feel like, you know, I'll never have that experience again. Um, so it's really made me, you know, feel super passionate even more about just helping improve people's quality of life, whether you're the aging parent or you're the adult kid.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. I mean, I think when you have a traumatic event like that, I mean, I think dying even for two and a half minutes is considered a traumatic event. So um, I think that when you have that, it really forces you to focus on it, really forces you to set in stone your core values. Because I think most people don't think about that. They don't think about what their core values are, and then when you do think about it and when you do actually write them down and have them in front of you, it's almost like having the commandments in front of you kind of thing. It is, yeah. Yeah, when you do that, then every decision you make is well, does this match my core value? Does this match my core value? If it does, go with it. If not, then you put it away. And that helps to keep you aligned, I think.

SPEAKER_01:

It makes life so much simpler, I feel like. Oh, yeah. There's no, oh, should I do this? Should I do that? It's like, like you said, yeah. Does that is this one of my goals in life? Okay, no, then we're done. The other thing, actually, it also really did for me too, you know, is OTs. Obviously, we spent a ton of our our time educating people. And I live in a city where we have just amazing medical care. And even at that time, 13 years ago, our medical team, my cardiologist, my whole medical team, they were fantastic. Even so, there was a lot of gaps in my experience as having a patient having a medical crisis through the medical system. There was a lot of education that I knew I should have been getting, but I didn't, but I already knew. Um, and even like cardiac therapy, like that was never something that was recommended to me, but I knew being a therapist in the media, I mean, I knew all these things that I needed to have done. And so I had to really fight for my own, I don't want to say fight, I had to be assertive, proactive, and say, I want you to order this for me, I want this, I want that. And it was fine. But I, you know, it's just an example of even somebody knowing the system, you know, there's gaps. And it's just makes it a million times harder, obviously, for people that don't know where those gaps are in the system to try to be able to work it.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. So when you work with your with your clients, are they clients or patients? I guess they're clients.

SPEAKER_01:

I call them clients now, yeah, because they're not, you know, referred to me by a doctor or getting out of the hospital recently, stuff like that.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

I know. Um, so when you do you talk about advocates, do you talk about where they can find advocates to help them if they do end up or when they do end up in the hospital or rehab or whatever?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, they definitely can. And a lot of times now, depending on a person's insurance, they'll have, you know, a care manager or a case manager um or a nurse that kind of acts as their advocate to some degree, not completely. Um, but yeah, there are, I know, independent nurses out there that do that on a private basis. Um, if that's something that the hospital system or your insurance doesn't help address. Um, but really it's more you're probably better off hiring somebody on your own, I personally feel, um, just because I feel like they're more likely to really pay attention to the details for you and might be a little bit more customized than maybe something from your insurance or health system. But that's just my my personal opinion.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think a lot of people don't think that they need an advocate, but there's so much um ageism out there, you know, you don't really realize it until it hits you in the face. Some of my friends are now having health issues and they're calling me and saying, I can't believe he said that, or you know, the doctor said that, or the nurse treated me like that, or you know, whatever. And I think um families don't, you know, they don't realize that. But I think in general, especially here in the US, I don't know about other countries, but here in the US, we really don't have a very good view of aging. You know, this whole thing of aging with dignity. I mean, that sounds it's a phrase, but I don't know that people really understand what that means. You know, what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_01:

And that's something that drives me insane. My blood pressure right now is rising. Just talking. I promise I'm not gonna have a heart attack on a hair.

SPEAKER_00:

Please, please don't. Um, please don't, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but I always just feel like um, you know, we we need to just try to be a little more positive about aging. I mean, I know obviously as as I was growing up and I'm 56, but you know, it was like, oh yeah, grandma gets older and she just moves in with you, and you know, she just lives in your house and you just move along, or they just end up in the nursing home. That's just how it is. Um, and as you get older, you become more useless and you don't have any purpose in your life, and you don't have any feelings, you don't care about anything anymore. And it could not be more untrue, as that is a hundred percent lie.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And I feel like we should just try to focus more on what are what are some positive things about aging. We are lucky, I feel blessed, and that's another cliche word, but I I love it that to be able to live to certain ages. Yeah, I mean, it it is a privilege, and there are actually a lot of benefits, you know. There's great things about being in your 20s, 30s, 40s, early 50s, all that too. Um, but I don't want to relive my 20s right now. So yeah, I feel like we need to have more of a positive spin and a positive outlook on getting older.

SPEAKER_00:

How do you think that can be approached?

SPEAKER_01:

Or how do you think us just talking more about it? Like what you and I are doing right now, and also um, and I know this is really hard to do, trying to get more of that conversation into mainstream media. I mean, I I know that's that's a whole beast in itself that to try to crack into. And that may or may never happen, I don't know. But I feel like as long as there's a lot of people like you and I doing podcasts or talking on social media or whatever, our kids, our families, uh, I think it all has to start right there, number one.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you're absolutely right. I mean, it has to start there, that awareness. But there is that emotional factor, you know, where people don't want to admit it, um, people don't want to face it, you know, deny, deny, deny, head in the sand kind of thing, until something happens. And like you said, the shit show begins. And as OTs, you know, we see the end, we see the after effects of that shit show. And, you know, we know that it can be prevented, at least to some major extent, really. Um but you know, I'm sure elder law attorneys face the same issue. You know, I can't believe how many people I know have children and do not have a will. I mean, you know, they face the same thing. It's like they just want to shake people and say, wake up. Yeah. And I I I don't know how it's it is like dragging a donkey across the road. It's like you know the other side of the road is good, but you've got to drag that donkey across the road. I know.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and like what you're saying too, I mean, so many, not only do the aging parents not want to talk about it, but a lot of times the adult kids don't want to talk about it. And because, like I said, you know, we went across people that are like, oh, well, don't mom and dad have that taken care of already? And that's another thing, you know, going through my heart attack. After that, I talk to my parents and I'm like, hey, you know, these are all things we need to talk about right now. You know, where do you want to live as you get older? Do you want to pay strangers to come in your house and take care of you? I will wipe your butt, give you a shower, all that stuff that I can do, obviously being an OT, that's right up my alley.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, but what do you want to do and how much money are you willing to throw at it? Right. Um, and thankfully they lived, you know, my mom or my dad lived another 13 years or 10 years or whatever, and they had addressed all those issues. And since my dad's passing, you know, we've seen elder care attorney, which is absolute must, not a regular attorney. You have to see an elder care attorney.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

And we created a special trust for my mom, and because my parents had a different type of trust before. Um, talked to financial planners, you know, to maximize the investments and different things that you can do to save money for when you get older.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. And you need a lot. I mean, my mom-in-law uh died at 102, and the last two years of her life, I know she was extremely active, but the last two years of her life, she she wasn't, and she needed 24-hour care, nursing care, and that cost 20,000 a month, and that was a few years ago. You know, uh, I mean, that was it was a lot. I mean, you know, they had of course they sold the condo and you know, did whatever they needed to do. Um, but it's still people don't realize, and everyone, well not everyone, but a lot of people think Medicare will pay for it or long-term care insurance will pay for it. And it'll pay for part of it, but or maybe some of it, but not um definitely not definitely not all of it. So you've got to put that money away.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, you know, for having any kind of private duty caregiver in the home, um, you know, obviously no insurance pays for that. There are certain types of Medicaid that may cover part of it, depending on their plan and so forth. But um, you know, for the one that we've been using, for my mom to have 24 7 care, it would be$360,000 a year.

SPEAKER_00:

Um you know, I don't know about nowadays, but it is like buying a small house. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, unfortunately a small house at this point in time. But you know, people just fall over when I tell them that. At because you know, who would have thought that? You know, when you put a real number to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah, when you do put a number to it. And I'm sure that's part of your role as well. So when you walk in and and and it's part of your portfolio, I mean your whatever you you know you hand over to the client, does that include also like the people you may recommend, like an elder law attorney, a geriatric care manager, social worker, whatever? Do you have those people in there, or do you just rely on the client to get their own?

SPEAKER_01:

No, I I'm right now actually still kind of working on building my network and community, both online and even here in town. I live in Fort Wayne, Indiana. But yeah, I already have elder care attorneys I've hooked up with and continuing to do so. Financial planners, uh, nursing care managers that you know do case management, work privately on the side. I mean, those people are invaluable. They are. They are just there's so much critical knowledge that you need to know. And I'm learning so much from them too, for my own, you know, my own situation, my husband and family and I.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. I mean, that's the other beautiful side of being an OT is you learn what to do for yourself. Yeah, which I love, which I love. So what are what do you think are the top three modifications that people can do in their environment to extend their safety, their independence, their life, yeah, and the and give the family peace of mind. What are your top three?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, I feel like everybody talks about the bathroom. And obviously, you know, SOTs, we could talk about the bathroom 24-7, no problem. Um, but obviously a lot of falls happen there, right? I mean, of course, being slippery area. So I think grab bars are probably one of the biggest soapboxes I get on um because I feel like they are critical. And also the right grab bar. Um, I'm really picky about my grab bars. I can't, I don't recommend any of the ones that are like really smooth and don't have any kind of texture to it.

SPEAKER_00:

I know I love the textured ones. I don't know why they don't make more of those.

SPEAKER_01:

I know there's really only like a couple brands, and I've even taken kinesio tape uh for patients and clients and wrap kinesio tape around the smooth grab bars so they had more texture to grab onto. But the textured ones, yes, are the only ones I recommend. The length matters, right? And another thing that I'm sure you're gonna agree with me on this too as well is placement. Oh when they have the bathroom modeler come in and they're just like, Yep, grab bars should go here, here. Well, you know what? What if your your mother-in-law is four feet tall? Because mine is actually. That positioning is not gonna work for her, right? Um, and like tub pa tub shower or sorry, tub benches and shower chairs. I love a tub bench. Yeah, and I've had so many different situations where people have spent tons of money remodeling a shower and the person still can't use the shower because they cannot step in and out. Everyone thinks, you know, the walk-in shower is the end all be all. Well, I mean, it can be, it can be great, but if you can't stand up and step into a shower, you're not gonna be able to use it anyway, you know. So the bathroom equipment for me is a really big thing, and then just I'd say probably number three is just general clutter and walkways, you know, people have so much stuff. I've got a dog, and uh there's dog toys that I'm constantly moving out of the way because I tend to trip over them sometimes. And I ain't no spring chicken, so I get it, I get it top three.

SPEAKER_00:

I get it. I know I have I have two cats, so I'll have some cat toys around. So when you know it's time for the roomba, I've got to go around and pick up, you know, the cat toys. And I've gotten to the point now where I I love the technology of the Roomba, but I noticed at the beginning when I first started using it that furniture wasn't always Roomba friendly. So when I go to buy any furniture, when I bought my last sofa, I I said it has to be Roomba friendly, and I don't know why furniture stores don't advertise that because I think they would sell more of that actually. Yes, but yeah, I mean, otherwise, what's the point of having the Roomba if it can't go places you don't get? But you know, what do I know? So um yeah a lot. I don't know, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder, but the other thing, um, as you were saying, um, yeah, that threshold in the shower, I mean, it may only be an inch or two inches or whatever. You're right. If you don't have the grab bar to get in there, if you need the help, if you can't stand up safely and and take a step, you know, basically standing on one leg while you take that other step, then nothing is good, you're not gonna be able, you're right, to get into that shower. And if the doorway isn't wide enough, and I mean, there's just so many little details, and um you know, obviously the zero threshold shower is is the best, but it has to fit in the room, water doesn't get everywhere. There's a whole scenario to that. So yeah, I love the tub bench, I love the ones that have the slide where you can sit on it, get your legs over, and then slide you know, the unit the the seating actually slides over. I think that's amazing. And now they're making some beautiful ones, you know, out of the seat and all kinds of things. It it doesn't have to look like a hospital. Exactly, exactly. Right, it just has to be functional and practical. So um, mentioning Roomba, how do you see AI stuff, or are there any um not necessarily AI, but there are there any techno technological things or smart home things? Um, and do you have a smart home person in your portfolio, your Rolo decks to give to people? Um, and do you recommend any of that, or is that something that you just want to, you know, not touch on deal with? I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I mean, I feel like, you know, technology and AI or whatever is um gonna be critical, you know. Um there's a lot of, you know, you and I both have had patients, I'm sure, with the life alert necklace that you know it senses if you fall or you drop a certain amount and it can call somebody. Um, I know there's a lot of systems now, like even the Alexa, okay. We've got an Alexa too, but I don't have her hooked up to like all my lighting and all that stuff. But you know, some friends of mine do that have some issues getting around, and they're you know, they have the the level of Alexa where you can turn off lights, you can turn on and off TV, um, you can call somebody if you're laying on the floor, you know. And I know there's a lot of new technology coming up that uses like uh ultrasonic waves or um something to that matter on the walls, like you don't have to be wearing anything. Yeah, you must be walking and it can sense where you're going and whether or not you have fallen. Now, I'm not definitely an up-to-date on all that stuff because I can't I can't learn about that fast. But yeah, I mean that's one of the people, you know, one of the things of the people I'm trying to get my network, including you, which has been wonderful. You know, you've learned I have learned many of the technology things, you know, and areas to look at um because of you too. And so that's actually been really exciting for me because I know there are so many smart home devices, you know, you can now go up to your refrigerator, and I think you can just like tap outside the refrigerator and the whole thing lights up and a big screen shows you everything that's in the refrigerator, you know. And so there can be all kinds of really cool things. And I think obviously it's gonna just keep improving um even over the next five, 10 years. My gosh, I don't even know all the stuff that's gonna be available.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah. I think you know, I have been seeing a lot of podcasts on and YouTube videos on um all these amazing technologies that are coming up, and the the general consensus is that between the next two and five years, everything is gonna change drastically, you know, and we're not even going to recognize um where we are now. It it really is gonna be amazing. It's scary, but it's also gonna be quite um amazing. But you're right. Uh yeah, it is exciting because a lot of these things can really help. I mean, the driverless car, can you imagine being uh a blind or have low vision or unable to drive anymore, and then just being able to call your car on your phone or you know, tap whatever, you know, like a Star Trek thing, tap on your thing and call the car. You know, I don't know. BBF. Yeah, I don't know. But you know, with Alexa, there's so many things you can use with Alexa. I mean, just all you have to do is get those smart plugs and then just um uh hook it up to Alexa, which is just a phone thing, a phone app. And then yeah, it can turn on your lights, it can turn on your TV, it puts them on a timer, it can use your voice and any Alexa device you can use as a telephone. You know, you don't need a special Alexa thing. And the Echo Show is even better because with the Echo Show, you can like video chat from one Echo Show to another Echo show. So I tell a lot of my friends that have grandchildren or you know that are older and have adult children, both of you should have echo shows so that you can have video chats with each other. Um, and then you can use that device as an Alexa device for everything. That's amazing. Now with the continue continued conversation, um, you know, all you have to do is ask Alexa to upgrade itself, update itself, doesn't cost any more. And you just say, you know, uh, I want to do the conversational Alexa. And all that means is that you say, Alexa, you know, what's the weather today? It'll tell you. And then you don't have to say Alexa again. As long as you see the blue wave going, which is like for another 10 seconds or 15 seconds, you can just continue the conversation. You know, the other day I said, What's the weather? And it said, Oh, it's going to be a high of 40 degrees. And I responded immediately and said, Oh, it's a good day for hot tea. And then because it's a connected to Amazon, it came back and said, Oh, yes, I see that you really love those Tito teas. Should we order some?

SPEAKER_01:

So there's a box of 500 now on its way to your house.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm like, oh my god. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, from kind of creepy and cool at the same time.

SPEAKER_00:

And yes, from a user perspective, it's creepy, but from a marketer perspective, it's brilliant. I mean, Amazon is uh definitely they they got their act going on. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

I've even had a lot of patients uh use the Alexa for medication reminders and home exercise reminders.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I mean it's it's great for reminders. You know, my washer and dryer are upstairs, so when I turn it on upstairs, I use Alexa to tell me it's been an hour, go up and change, you know, put it in the dryer or whatever. Um yeah, it can remind you of everything. You can put your calendar on there and you can wake up in the morning and say, Alexa, what's on my calendar? Um, you can argue with it, you can do history stats, you can do jokes, you can do, you know, it's just um it's like another person, talking to another person. It is like talking to another person, and that's the creepy part. Yeah, it's um yeah, my friends love coming over and chatting with Alexa, you know, because they just think it's so weird. So one of that so going into people's homes and then seeing and oh and decluttering, when you mentioned decluttering, I personally think decluttering is the very first step in aging in place, you know, it has it has to be in order to accommodate anything new to make your life safer. So um so okay, so with that in mind, what do you see or what do you think will happen in the next five years or so as far as aging in place, as far as these homes? Um, I'm hoping homes will be built, more homes will be built with elevators. That's what I'm hoping for.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. What do you think? Yes, yeah. Are you talking about new construction or how can homes well it would be nice to put them in existing homes, but for new construction And they can to some degree, obviously it just depends on you know, your house construction, all that stuff. But um, yeah, because you know, most of the people that I've seen, and maybe you too, I don't know, have used the stair lifts. Yeah. Um, you know, if you don't have an elevator or something, you know, as a as a worst case scenario. And again, it's an expense, you know, they're usually thousands of dollars. Right. Um, but I think a lot of homes, I think a lot of newer homes now are being built actually a little smaller.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, more affordable. Yes. Because obviously we all know everything is extremely expensive. Um, I feel like they're actually starting to be built smaller and with more technology in them. I mean, that's kind of just what I've seen um, you know, in different videos and stuff like that to make it, you know, easier, one level house, sorry, a one-level home. I didn't have all my coffee. Making it easier to get around. But even like, you know, my husband and I, we live in a, you know, a two-story on top of a basement.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I, you know, plan on using a you know, stair lift if we need if we get to that point or whatever, or or who knows, maybe at some point we'll have to move and go to a ranch level home that you know is more of a smart home. I don't know. But yeah, I feel like technology, like we were talking before, is just a tremendous factor in uh staying at home as you get older. If the person has been educating themselves along the way on using some of the technology, we both know. I mean, I've had people that really can't do a Zoom meeting with me or FaceTime, um, and don't have anybody available really to help them. Um, so yeah, they can be beneficial, but obviously you got to know how to use it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, agreed. Um, I think my mom and law was 95 or so when in her condo, she's living independently, her thermostat finally went out after 60 plus years, whatever. So they had to replace it. But of course, they don't replace old thermostats with old thermostats, they put in a new smart home thermostat. And she called me one day and her voice sounded all muffled. And I said, Are are you okay? She said, I'm under the covers. I said, Why are you under the covers? She says, Because the a condo is freezing. I said, Why is it freezing? Why don't you change the thermostat? She says, I don't know how. She did not, I mean, she did she she's used to the lever and now she's got buttons and or whatever, and she didn't know how to do it. So I had to call somebody in her, she was in a 55 plus. I called someone in the computer club to come and do that for her because she didn't know how.

SPEAKER_01:

She was well, I I love that because you know, I'm I'm in that generation where I grew up with the little dial in the lever, you know, and now I was been forced to learn the touch screen, you know. So I can a hundred percent appreciate that knowledge gap, you know. And of course I've got kids who are in their early 20s and there's still things on the phone that I'm like, what am I supposed to do? And they're like, mom, are you kidding me? You know, you don't know, you know, you know what kids are, but yeah, I can totally appreciate that all.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And what's gonna happen when we're 95, you know, if we're lucky enough to get to that? Uh, are we gonna even be able to get into our own home? You know, are we gonna need some kind of something or other that's not gonna work? I mean, I I don't know. It's um it's fascinating, but you're right, the education part has to be there. But of course, it's more difficult when there's a cognitive decline, even if it's not officially diagnosed as dementia or they refuse to go for diagnosis, you know, then it becomes it can actually become a danger versus helping them. And that's why, as you were mentioned before, I love the sensors, you know, around the house or whatever can be built in to help the families, no matter where they live, to keep an eye on their elder, you know, loved one without them, without it being a camera. I think so many of them now are just like a sensor, like so-and-so is in a you know, they're in a room, someone's in the room, and then someone's here, or someone's on the floor, you know, but it's not a camera, so it's not invasive.

SPEAKER_01:

At least uh yeah, that could be a really big issue, obviously. You know, if the person knows that there's a camera there, and of course they're gonna feel like they're being watched and monitored, and you know, I I don't blame them, I would too.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, yeah, nobody wants to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Sometimes you have to, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, sometimes you have to you have to do whatever to yeah, to just to keep yourself safe. Look, it's all about living longer, a good quality of life at the end of the day. Um so talking about that guy, good quality of life, I think a lot of um what I've when I've sp I speak to a lot of aging in place specialists, and the one thing that I notice that they don't talk much about is uh fun and activities, leisure, you know, and I think that's so that that has to be an important part of your day. Um, whatever it is you enjoy doing, reading puzzles, watching movies, taking a walk, whatever. You know, why isn't I mean, I don't know why that isn't addressed. If so, do you talk about that with your clients? Is that part of your assessment? You know, how do you what what is your view of that?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh absolutely. Um, you know, again, kind of go back to our OT roots, you know, leisure activities and stuff is one of the biggest ADL, you know, that we kind of focus on sometimes because it is so important. Um, my personality is one of I have to have fun, or I'm not doing it. I mean, that's just how it is. And I I love comedy, I love to laugh, and it is quite frankly a major coping mechanism of mine. Um, and I feel like you have to, you have to infuse some fun. Now, I'm not saying, oh yeah, you know, let's go skip it down the hallway and you know, be doing some cartwheels, and you know, obviously it has to be tailored, but even even simple things like um, you know, maybe not somebody might not look at this as fun, but I look at this as something joyful during the day. I love cookies, and I had a patient a while back, and this guy was in his late 90s, and we'd seen his wife as a patient also in her late 90s. This is when I was working home health. And his fun thing that he looked forward to every day is at two o'clock, he had coffee and cookies, and that was his fun time of the day. I mean, he had, you know, this really nice um place setting and uh coffee cup, and you know, I use like a crappy old plastic plates and any kind of coffee cup I can find with coffee and cookies, that's all I care about. But that's really what brought fun to his day, and me too. I mean, I would feel the Same way at any time of day, coffees and cookies, coffee and cookies, and my whole life lights up. But it could be anything as simple as you know having someone's wheelchair decorated the way they like. I used to do, well, I still do, but custom wheelchair evaluations for people. And we've gotten like John Deere, you know, stickers to put on it for people, or just different colors, or decorated different things that's their personality.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Even clothing. You know, I've had people that are love SpongeBob square pants and they'll have, you know, all sorts of pajama sets of SpongeBob. But that's what they like, that's what infuses their personality into it. And that's how I feel like you have to have some kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you have to incorporate that into your day. Um, and the caregiver too. If it's a family caregiver, that has to be um incorporated in there. Um, yeah, I made a website called fun senior holidays.com, and the idea was to give caregivers of people with dementia or some kind of cognitive decline things that they could do every single day of the year, and I tailored it to one of those wacky holidays, you know, like National Cookie Day or, you know, uh adopt a rabbit day, you know, whatever. And then so then I I would uh put down several activities that they could do for that day, you know, based on that theme. That way it's always something different instead of the same old whatever, you know, they may be doing because it's hard to come up with activities for um, you know, everyone you get a little tired of things after a while. But it is those little things, you know, the the hobbies, the routines, the little moments during the day that can make life really amazing. You know, you don't have to travel the world to have a fulfilling life. Um, you can do it right at home. Uh, you know, a lot of my friends now that they're retired, their whole big thing is travel, travel, travel, travel. And yet they're stressed before they travel, they are exhausted when they come back from travel, they don't remember where they travel, you know. Where's this picture? I don't remember. Was it here? Was it there? I don't know. And I think to myself, you know, I don't know if that's worth it. It's not for everybody, it's not for everyone, but it's what we were taught, you know. When you retire, you travel, when you get married, you have children. When you do this, you know, uh you don't always have to do that. And again, that goes back to identifying your core values and then following them if you can, if you're brave enough to do that. Um, if if you can. I wish they taught that in school. I would have loved to have learned that and not have to be.

SPEAKER_01:

Me too. I know, I know. Uh I mean, really, when it comes down to it, I mean, for me, I mean, nothing else matters. No, you know, I mean I don't care how much money you have, I don't care how much money you make, I don't care how attractive you are, I don't care how homely you think you might be. You know, it's the same for everybody.

unknown:

It is.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, I'm sure again you've probably had the similar experiences I have. You know, I've seen patients literally in homes that are almost condemned, yeah with you know, rats and termites running around. Yeah. Um, hoarders, and I've had patients who are literally multimillionaires.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's it's the same issue, same issue. You gotta know what your priorities are, period.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. You really do, you really do what it comes down to. Yeah, I mean, but I get it, you know, we're all at different levels of evolvement is that word. I don't know. Yeah, we're all at different levels, so you know. I always say, you know, accept what someone can give you and don't blame them for what they can't.

SPEAKER_01:

Because absolutely that's the only way to steal that from you.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's the only way you can live with you know the otherness of another person. It's um that's a good way to put it. Yeah, I I got that from a psychologist on YouTube. Yeah, awesome. Uh I know. So um, obviously, when you go into a home, the client is not the only client, the caregiver or the family is also your client. And a lot of times nowadays, with so many people living longer and longer, you know, thank God to medicine and science and all of that. Uh, you're a good example of that. Um then, you know, it's come what I'm seeing is that seniors are now caring for seniors, you know, the children are in their 70s and the parents are in their 90s or more. So obviously your education training is involves all of them. So do you have incorporated in your uh service when you go in anything about caregiver stress or burnout, or how how does that fit in if it does at all?

SPEAKER_01:

It it has to fit in because it's um it's just part of the puzzle piece of the whole situation. It all has to be addressed. Um, and as a caregiver myself, I mean, I I fully understand the burnout aspect, and I do have support. Um, but it has to be addressed because it's again the reality, you know, if you're 70 caring for a 95-year-old woman, um, that's actually in my family, is that kind of situation too? You have got to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Even if you're not 70, I don't care if you're 35. You're not gonna be 35 forever. Um, it builds up. It this the stress will kill you, trust me. Um, it's one of the factors in in my own death. Um, you have you just have to do it. You have to. And if you don't, don't think that you can push it down and hide it and you'll you know deal with that later. It's gonna come back and it's not gonna be in a way that you want it to come out, and it's not gonna be pretty, and it's it's just nothing that anybody wants. You have to address the stress. Um, any way, shape, and form that can be. I just did a uh social media post about this a few weeks ago. Even if you have 10 minutes and you're you work, you're busy. I've done this before many times myself. Go go take your car, go sit in a parking lot at Meyer, Walmart. I don't care where you're at. Just sit in the car 10 minutes. You can look on your phone if that makes you happy. You can sit there and stare into space and do freaking nothing if that makes you happy.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Something. Um and I know guilt is one of the big emotions everybody feels. Uh we listen, it's human nature. We can't get away from our feelings, right? But you have to face it. You're doing the best that you possibly can with the resources that you have. And I'll tell you one thing for sure. I'm pretty sure your parents, I know mine are are have been this way, they did not want you to destroy yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to take care of them.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

So if nothing else, you know, use that reason. But we all have to live our lives and try not to, you know, create a life of pain, misery, and disability, not only for our parents, but for ourselves.

SPEAKER_00:

It's true. It's true. I have a friend of mine who literally put her life almost on hold. I mean, she continued working, but every other minute of the day was dedicated to taking care of her mother, um, who, you know, passed away, and then afterwards her father. So it was several years of that. And almost, I don't know, a month or two after her father did finally pass away, you know, she had you know severe breast cancer. And you know, and ever since then it's been one thing after the other. And it the stress, it really, like you said, it comes out in one way or the other. So take control, you know, take control and and honor that. But you're right, the other side of the coin there is the guilt. I'm not doing enough. I need to help him, her, I need to help them, you know, and and it's often laid on one person. Um you know, and then a lot of times also, if you're lucky enough to have wonderful parents who don't want you to go through that, you know, that's great. But if you have parents who you don't have a great relationship with, who or who are abusive or whatever issues are going on with them, you've got that on top of everything else. There's so many different factors. One of the video, one of the YouTube videos I did that gets a lot of comments and um likes and whatever is a video I did about how to deal with abuse of elderly parents. Because obviously we know there's elder abuse, but hardly anybody ever talks about the abuse that parents give to their caregivers.

SPEAKER_01:

Their adults is so huge that that oh that drives me insane. I just I listened to um not listened to, it was uh social media post a few months ago, and somebody had commented about this that she took care of both her parents. They had always been physically abusive to her, and they both had ended up having like dementia, maybe Alzheimer's, I can't remember. But her dad physically abused her so horribly. I mean, they're later older ages, that he broke several bones in her body, and she was in the hospital for months and couldn't work for a year, and she still went back to taking care of him. People, yeah, people cannot do this, you cannot do this. You can, but you're just giving up the rest of your life, and that's it's just it that makes me sick and sad.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I think my experience has been I call it the more so disease. However, you are when you're younger, you're only more so when you're older, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

So I'm gonna steal that from you too.

SPEAKER_00:

Steal it, take it, use it, write a book about it, go for it. But it is it's the more so disease. I mean, I saw that in all my years of OT and family, and you know, they would say, Oh no, you know, well, you you you just hear the stories and then you can see it. It's very rare that they become a different person, they are who they are, and it's not gonna change. But I get it, I get it. You're hung hungry for the parent that you wish you had, and you're hoping that they will change, and it it never does. No, but then at that point, who actually does become the patient, you know, or client? Yeah, yeah, it really is the caregiver and not the person themselves. So what else would you like me to uh I mean, what else would you like to tell us or tell my viewers, readers, listeners, however they're watching about well, first of all, comfortable aging solutions is in where? What location?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and I can I serve like about a roughly one hour radius. I can do in-person home safety evaluations and I also do one-on-one consulting, but obviously through technology, I can do virtual home assessments for safety and um the one-on-one counseling virtually as well. So I've even had some women from Australia contact me. Um, I'm gonna be setting up some groups for them. Um that she has a business of her own that I'm gonna be working and providing some additional education for some of the groups that she does over there. So I think that's really exciting. Oh, it's um, yeah, I know I'm it's really it's gonna be really cool. We're in the process of working on that now. But I mean, I guess just my main thing is, you know, again, home safety. Um, then the reason I created my own home safety evaluation is, you know, again, as as OTs, we've seen all these other people's and other um businesses, medical systems, home safety evaluations that they've created. Um, but mine's a little different. Um, I think they all are probably a little different, you know. If if as a therapist, we create our own. Um, but I think it's the the trained eye. The trained eye. I have to see the person move in the environment. Um, I don't care how much you can describe to me someone's bathroom situation, their home situation, they're gonna do it a certain way. And I'm gonna pick up on that little hidden area that, you know, safety-wise needs to be addressed that maybe the the caregiver has no idea, doesn't pay attention to, doesn't think about. So for me, that's one of the big things. It's not just like a checklist. I do it with the people in real time. Um, and that's important to me because that's the only way I can feel really good about what I'm recommending, you know. Um, and and again, just talking about it. I've been talking on social media for a long time. Talk to your parents, talk to your parents, and by the way, talk to your parents. You know, and just talk about it. I don't care how uncomfortable it is. Um, there are ways to to find out. I can help find ways for you to talk to them about it in a more comfortable way. Um, but deal with it, don't just, you know, ignore it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, don't don't sweep it under the rug because as you said, it's gonna turn into a shit show if you don't. I just spoke with someone last week from New York. Um, he created this um peelaway product. And have you seen that? Have you heard of the sheets? Yeah, the sheet. Yes, so I just ordered it, I just got it yesterday. So I haven't seen it. Yeah, I haven't tried it yet. I'm gonna do a video on it. But yeah, that that's exactly what happened to him. His mom at 62 or 63 had a stroke, and a pretty severe stroke, so it threw the family into a turmoil because they weren't prepared for any of that. And it's been a year-long journey of them going through the maze of everything, you know. And she was young. I mean, that's a young age to have uh such a stroke. So yeah, it's it can really I talked to him a few months ago.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I not through Zoom, but through messaging. Because I had not seen his products before. Um, although I think I might have seen it on Shark Tank when he was on a long time ago. My Shark Tank junk.

SPEAKER_00:

It was on Shark Tank, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, because that was possibly need I was gonna have at that point in time anyway. This is just a few months ago. But um, yeah, that is so amazing. I've run into some other people that have invented some new things too. That I'm like, oh my gosh, this is just again going back to technology. I mean, it's gonna help so much stuff. It's incredible.

SPEAKER_00:

It really is. I mean, it's a good time to grow older.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Hopefully, hopefully it's a good time.

SPEAKER_01:

We'll see how things end up. We might be hit by a bus tomorrow. Who knows?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but you know what? That's okay. You did, you know, you led a purposeful life today. I have no regrets until, and that's right. You have no regrets, no regrets. It's not Christy. I want to thank you so much for spending time with me. Um, stay on, don't hang up, but thank you so much, everyone. I hope you learned a lot from this and check out Comfortable Aging Solutions. Oh, what is the website?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, you can go there and you can book a free coffee chat with me, which is where I just talk to you and get to know your situation and you know how I can help you better.

SPEAKER_00:

I love it. Thank you so much for creating that. I look forward to that becoming a big franchise company. We'll see.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much. I appreciate you having me on.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, you're welcome, Christy. I enjoyed it. Thank you for the time. Thank you, thank you.

Contributor

Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S.

Host